Life's Answers Right Here

When I was a teenager I had this poster with a chimpanzee with his hand on his forehead that said, "Right when I knew all life's answers they changed the questions." And you know the sad thing, no one really asks you for the answers. Nope. Here we are halfway through life and no one wants to draw from the fountain of knowledge that we have.

We have all become "The Baby Whisperers" because we have already raised them to teenagehood, or adulthood or at least in school all day. Pro-fessionals! 'Cause we can tell them what we did right or what our neighbor did wrong and that's why their kids are losers and ours aren't. It makes me feel sad for people who don't have kids as cute as mine.

We can doctor any recipe because we've made all the mistakes, though I still have a little trouble getting toffee to turn out perfect every time. We can make a meal out of nothing (it's called casserole) and we've collected all the best recipes over the years. They just need to ask.

We can balance a checkbook and give financial advice to people who make crazy decisions with their money. We know how to spend money:

"No. Don't buy the boat because you'll have to buy a gas guzzling truck to tow it."

"Yes. Buy the shoes, you'll never out grow them."

Marriage problems? We have them all worked out. That's what that prayer thing is for:

That prayer is actually talking about husbands. It's "The Wive's Prayer." It should have an addendum that says, "And a good attorney in case it doesn't work out."

If only we knew back then what we know now. That's why it's important for us to share our knowledge with others, give them our valued opinion and let them know what we really think. Let's toot our horns for how wise we have become. Let's toot them for everyone else to hear! We have a lot to say!