Monday, March 1, 2010

Body, Don't Fail Me Now. Excuse Me.

So last week I promised a story of a time I embarrassed my teen. Well, you know, one of the many times I've embarrassed them.

So, when my daughter, Fashionista, was in about eighth grade there was this commercial that was running....and running....and running. It starts with a scene of a girls' slumber party with some young teens and they're having a pillow fight and jumping around dancing and then HORROR! The mother comes into the room and thinks she's going to pull the "Cool Mom" card and she starts doing a cool dance from her time - THE ROBOT! The girls just look at her like "Oh my gosh! What are you doing?" Then the phrase was, "Wanna try something new?" And I can't remember what it was advertising.

So my daughter was having a slumber party and there were about 7-8 girls there standing in my kitchen and one of them say, "Well, what should we do now?"

Another one answers, "We can go downstairs and dance."

And I add, "And I could be like that mom on the commercial and start dancing" and I did a couple of robot moves and it was then that it happened. My body betrayed me. I did an audible explosion between my legs and they all heard it. They looked at me like I was a freak and a couple giggled. My own daugter says from the side of her mouth, "Mom. I can't believe you just farted in front of my friends."

"I didn't mean to. Wait until you get to be my age," I reply in my defense. "But you guys might want to move that way" as I flap my hands away from me. Then they laughed. If only they knew the truth about teenage boys. I was just breaking wind, I mean breaking them in - slowly.


Lisa said...

AAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh my goodness, that is just TOOOOOO traumatic! Not for your daughter~for YOU. Knowing that you could no longer trust your own bum! See? That right there is why I'll be changing a few things in my world. One more reason to be make a new and improved 40-ish bum that can keep a tight O-ring.

Kari said...

Just be glad you aren't 30 years older! You might have broken something else! I love to embarrass my kids. "It's in the mom handbook. I have to do it!" That's what I tell them, but they don't believe me... They'll understand some day. :)

Karen said...

Oh I the gas theme going on here.

Gil said...

I think your mother's side of the family invented BUTT THUNDER! Obviously you never took a ride with your maternal grandfather and his brother, Joel, on a cold winter's day with the windows rolled up and the heater going full-blast... that was their favorite place and time to have a "contest".